I guess my wife is stocking up for 2010.
Either that, or she is getting a jump on impending shortages for the year 2012 when the Mayan calendar comes to an end which of course means it’s the end of the world as we know it. Just go see the movie for confirmation of all that. It’s probably all true you know.
So, what is she stocking up on and why is that important to Real Texas?
It’s not red beans. That’s pinto beans to some of ya’ll. She actually has a pot of beans cooking in a pot right now. I finally got her to follow Bob Bullock’s bean recipe that I had lost and then found again when a reader kindly sent the the recipe.
So it’s not something important like beans or rice, true survivalist foods.
It’s Mountain Dew.
I’ll get to the part about her hoarding almost being un-Texan like in a minute. She may need some serious intervention.
Here’s the problem. She finds Mountain Dew on sale at $2.50 a 12 pack and then her eyes glaze over and she goes into her Mormon/survivalist mode. Even though she has plenty of Mountain Dew at home, she always buys some more. She could be characterized as one of those who “cling to their guns and Mountain Dew!”
She finds it comforting to have plenty on hand in case she needs it. No, she’s not Mormon, although we have Mormon relatives. She just has this compulsion.
Here’s the facts. We store her Mountain Dew down in my office and I checked yesterday. With the latest trip to the store she has 19 twelve packs of Mountain Dew stacked up. Quick, what’s 12X19. Yep, it is 228. That’s 228 cans diet Mountain Dew sitting down there waiting to rot her stomach out and send her into a caffeine frenzy.
I, on the other hand, have only one 18 pack of my favorite beverage. A calm and relaxing beverage that lends itself to intelligent conversation and observations.
THAT is the problem. And it’s almost un-Texan. What would people say if they saw 19 twelve packs of MY favorite beverage stacked up down in my office?
OK, forget asking my friends. Most of my friends would say they are ‘envious’. And say “Wow, way to go.” Some would offer to move in with me. Many would stop by for a quick visit and forget to go home for a while. A few of the crude ones would comment that they wished their wives kept them supplied that well.
And at least one preacher friend would suggest some sort of institutionalized treatment for me.
But he would have nothing to say about 19 twelve packs of Mountain Dew, and that has to be some sort of sinful behavior.
I see a double standard controversy brewing here.
I’ll have to let you know how it all turns out. Right after I finish my beans and cornbread.
I’m David out in Real Texas
And If I want anyone to know about this complaint, I’ll tell ’em…..
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
I have heard from a few friends and relatives that Mountain Dew blends well with certain products of the State of Kentucky. Just saying.
Hadn’t thought of that. Very good idea. At least I’m well stocked…thanks Bill!
You’re fussing because that little girl is saving you money??
My wife drinks Diet Coke all day long. On a good day she’ll go through a 2-liter bottle easily. Regular price is $1.49 a bottle but occasionally we will catch it on sale for $1.00, so we buy anywhere from 30 to 50 bottles. Why not? It won’t perish, it’s something that will be used, and we save $25.00 when we buy 50 bottles.
An apology to that sweet thing is in order. NOW!!
PS: You mean you really mix those Kentucky products with something?
Maybe she needs it for some of her basil recipes … and I figure she probably will find some other helpful use for it as well. She is such a good shopper. LOL!
She should try adding a can to that pot of beans! Then she will have a new recipe to share with all of us.