Real Texas Nurses

by david on July 28, 2010

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Texas Nurses are just the best

I'll explain this picture later on.....

I have had the opportunity to see a number of good Nurses in action at various times in my life and I have to say I admire them all.  They do such a good job and I’ve seen their jobs and no, I don’t want it.

Growing up,  my nurses were quite the authority figures.  One I remember quite well was a lady named Dillon Rogers.  Her husband owned the Drug Store and yes,  for a while in my childhood, there was a soda fountain just like on Happy Days.  I never really had any money to spend there, but it was fascinating all the same.

Dillon would give us all our shots and she was an all business sort of Nurse.   “Drop your pants and bend over.”  So we did.  However, sometimes I would tense up just a little too much and bend the needle as she tried to stick me.  “Relax some,” she ordered.  Have you ever been 8 years old and been told to relax some when you are about to get a shot?  Doesn’t work that way.

I do remember marching ‘en masse’ down to the doctor’s office with my fellow 3rd graders and all receiveing a polio shot.  Don’t know if they even asked our parents back in those days.  Bet they did not.

My favorite nurses have to be Rose McWilliams and Karen Gore.   Rose is retired now and so is Karen, but in their day, they saw everything and did everything.  They have been covered in blood and guts, and have comforted the family of deceased relatives and shared the joy of a good outcome.  That pair is as good as they come.

That’s why I am submitting my first aid on Ramona’s toe for their approval.  Ramona got her toe stuck in a door that was shutting and she ripped her big toenail nearly off.  It is only hanging by a thread of skin.  So I drench it in peroxide several times  a day and put bacitracin on it, then wrap it up in sterile gauze.

I also invented a protective device so she could sleep under the covers at night without ripping the nail off in the covers.  Her toe is v-e-r-y painful.  She can’t stand anything touching it.

Here is a bigger picture of it:

Ok, before some of you ladies get in an uproar, I tried to do better than this.  I walked in Walgreen’s and asked the little girl who wanted to help me if they had any toe splints.  That sounds like plain English to me, but it didn’t to her.  She looked at me blankly.  I told her t-o-e    s-p-l-i-n-t.  She still didn’t get it.  So I went to an older lady and she could actually understand my brand of Texas Tawk.  They didn’t really have what we needed…so I improvised.  I cut a little box in half and taped it around her toe.  It keeps the covers off, and she can sleep at night.

Mission accomplished.  Yes (to my men friends), I wanted to use duct tape or black electrical tape, but she wouldn’t go that far.  Woulda worked better.  I figger I’ve saved abut four thousand dollars in ER bills with my little first aid trick.  Hope we don’t lose the toe.

So, what do you think?

I’m Nurse David

Makin’ do out in Real Texas

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Jim Bob SolsberyNo Gravatar July 29, 2010 at 7:39 am

As a man who has taped, wired, and glued things together all of his life, I think this is the best use of ingenuity I have ever seen. When I move back to Real Texas, I’ll just have one question, “Do you make house calls?” Oh, by the way, how’s the patient?

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Dr. WarthogNo Gravatar July 29, 2010 at 11:12 am

Should have taken the hanging nail completely off. Will heal quicker.

I think the cardboard center of a roll of paper towels or toilet tissue would have made a better protective covering.

You forgot the WD40. Give that toe a good spraying. That and duct tape will fix anything.

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davidNo Gravatar July 30, 2010 at 11:15 am

Dang it! Should have remembered the WD40. Tried the toilet paper inside roll, but it touched the side. And the whole nail is affected, not just some little hangy part. I’m brushing up on my surgery skills and have ordered a bottle of whiskey for the patient.

Jim Bob, the patient is ‘impatient’.

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Dr. WarthogNo Gravatar July 30, 2010 at 11:57 am

You need two bottles. One for the impatient patient and one for the surgeon. I suggest Crown Royal.

Might ought to get three bottles. You’ll need one to clean the fish filet knife, vice-grips, and hacksaw blade.

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