Pop culture gives us some real gems these days. The latest is “Pants on the Ground” sung by a older gentleman on American Idol. Here it is if you have not seen it:
We’ll be stuck with that in our heads until the next pop culture phenomena comes around. I’ll be thinking of it every time I see a ‘sagger’ walking around.
It brings to mind a list I have seen in various places called Texas Rules of Etiquette.
Here’s an adaptation of that list:
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain’t crooked.
3. Let’s get this straight: it’s called a ‘dirt road or a gravel road.’ I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you’re gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That’s why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don’t like it? Interstate highways go north and south. Pick one and get on the road outa here.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We’re impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in Real Texas waves. It’s called being friendly. Try to understand the concept. Besides, with not that much traffic out here, we probably know the other driver.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are comin’ in during the hunts, we WILL shoot it outta your hand.
8. Yeah. We eat deer called venison meat. You really want sushi and caviar? It’s available at the corner bait shop.
9. The ‘Opener’ refers to the first day of deer season. It’s a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That’s applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there’s no ‘vegetarian special’ on the menu out here in Real Texas. Order steak, or you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we set a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and picante. Oh, yeah … We don’t care what you folks in Philadelphia call that stuff you eat … IT AIN’T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring ‘Coke’ into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring ‘Mary Jane’ into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is more important here than the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch. Here we are either Aggies or Teasips, Cowboys or Texans. Some of us are even Horned Frogs!
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don’t hit the water hazards – it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain’t music, anyway. We don’t want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
I’m David out in Real Texas
With my Pants off the ground!
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Great Blog, David. I loved this one!!! I loved the Texas Rules of Etiquette…..I’m going to use that in my Blog sometime…..Thanks!
In reference to number 12 above: David, I make REAL TEXAS Chili in PHILADELPHIA from a REAL TEXAS RECIPE ! And I see alot of them with their Pants on the Ground around here,
Good for you!
But I did see who you were rootin’ for last week…..shame on you….lol.
Tell those folks up there to pull their pants up.
great rules David. I have yet to disagree with anything you have said in any of your blogs!!!! The recipes are “Real Texas” Good as well…
Thanks for the insights!
Glad I came across your blog; this post put a real smile on my face, and yeah I might find it difficult to get that “song” out of my head today! (Nice looking theme too!)