Real Texas Advice

by david on March 21, 2011

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Response to Dear Abby’s reader

A lady wrote in to Dear Abby in my Sunday paper complaining that her husband is a good guy, but he is way to obsessive about professional sports, especially football.  That sounded more interesting than the other man bashing/husband bashing topics Dear Abby usually has so I kept reading.

The lady went on to say her husband had a strong hatred toward rival teams and that his arguments with people with opposing  opinions  have cost him friendships.  She goes on to say she is embarrassed by his behavior and she doesn’t want to be around him on Sundays during the games.  And worse….his friends are amused by his tantrums and egg him on making him even angrier.  She explained that although he has never hit anyone, he had punched a hole in the wall a time or two.

To her credit, she says she doesn’t want a divorce but she doesn’t want to be around ‘Louie’ either.  She admitted that her friends and family wonder if they are separated because she visits them without ‘Louie.’

Dear Abby’s advice was that friends and family should stage an ‘intervention’ and point out to poor Louie that there are things more important in life than his favorite football team.

My advice to Louie and his wife are just so totally different than what Dear Abby said about the matter.

My advice is that he should move to Texas.

In my lifetime of observations, behavior such as that is normal here.

I have to say there was a man in my hometown who had a special place in the stands and no one would sit within ten yards of him.  His voice carried quite well from end zone to end zone and the referees were the bane of his existence.  Apparently, he knew them all and none of them had parents who were legally married.  And if one was a member of a minority race, well…..he just wasn’t too politically correct.  And they were all universally bribed by the opposing teams.

Otherwise, he was a very nice person.

Strong hatred of opposing teams ranging from hometown high school rivalries to college games to professional sports are passed on from generation to generation of families.  A prime example is that it is in our DNA to dislike any team from  Oklahomo, especially OU.  And I personally know families of Aggies who refused to support The University of Texas against Alabama in the national  Championship game.

It was also widely known that the high school team a few miles down the road from my hometown had cheerleaders who were in training as professional prostitutes and the players were known drug abusers and dog haters.

And if I personally knew anyone who would support The Redskins over the Dallas Cowboys, they would be unwelcome in my house or even out in my yard.

The first time I sat down to watch a game on TV with Ramona, she came trotting out with cold beer, nachos and buffalo wings.  She stated that she only wanted Texas teams to win and to heck with all the others, although she did like Elway when he played from the Broncos.

She wants to name our next dog Meredith as in Don Meredith.

My additional advice to the Dear Abby reader is for her to act more like a Real Texas wife and get with the program if she is going to watch a game at home with poor ‘Louie’.

OK, that’s my advice and I’m stickin’ to it.

I’m David out in Real Texas

Ready to give good advice when it is needed.

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